Joke of the day

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Joke of the day

Postby Welsh Wizard » Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:12 am

I noticed we don't have a joke of the day page yet so.


A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we have no bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!"

Duck says: "Got any nails?"

Barman says: "No"

Duck says: "Got any bread?
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Welsh Wizard » Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:14 am

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter.

After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighborhood with big, stately residences...no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.

He really, really has to go, after all those Guinnesses. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.

As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London police officer, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom."

"Ah, yes," said the policeman..."Just follow me". He leads the American to a back delivery alley to a gate, which he opens.

"In there," points the policeman. "Go ahead sir, anywhere you like."

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.

Since he has the policeman's blessing, he relieves himself and feels much more comfortable. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the police officer, "That was really decent of you... is that what you call English hospitality?"

"No sir...", replied the police officer, "...that is what we call the French Embassy."
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Re: Joke of the day

Postby Welsh Wizard » Sat Jun 27, 2009 2:00 am

A Rabbi, a Monk, and a lawyer are riding down the road when their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere.

Spotting a farmhouse they walk over and tell the farmer they need a place to stay the night while they wait for a tow.

"I've got room in the house for two of you but someones gonna have to sleep in the barn." says the farmer.

The Rabbi say's, "I've no problem with that, I'll go." He leaves.

Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the Rabbi is there.

He says, "Sir there is a pig in that barn; in my religion pigs are unclean, I cannot sleep under the same roof with a pig."

The Monk speaks up and says, "I have no problem with pigs I'll go sleep in the barn." He leaves.

Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the Monk is there.

"Sir there is a cow in that barn; in my religion cows are sacred, I cannot sleep under the same roof with a cow.

The lawyer responds, "I'll go sleep in the barn, I've got no religion." He leaves.

Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the pig and the cow are standing there.
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